It would be anger.

Lots of it.

Five years ago I was really sick.

I didn't know what was going on.

Not walking the same, having seizures every day.

I finally got a neurologist appointment.

The neurologist, she didn't think that I was really sick.

She didn't even examine me.

I'd say that from the time I walked in there and the time it took her to tell me it was in my head, it was probably about five minutes, tops.

So I sat down in the lobby and called my primary care, like I refused to leave.

I had an appointment.

I wanted her to see me.

This campus cop, like security, he told me that if I didn't leave, I was going to go to jail.

And I said, well, if that's what it takes.

Next thing I know, I felt two hands around my neck and he slammed me, face first, into the ground and started choking me.

Broke out of his choke-hold and I flipped over.

He tased me, I think, seven to eight times down my spine.

Over the course of about eight months, I'd slowly lose my ability to walk.

Then I found out that I had lupus.

Every time I would go to the neurologist, they would just look at me and my case manager and just tell me that it was psychosomatic, that there was nothing wrong with me.

No doctor thought to ask me my family history.

They don't know if I had something in my spine already and the taser made it worse, if it was the lupus itself.

At this point, it's just, you know, unknown etiology.

It changed my life in so many ways, all these years that I lived with losing things like touch and not being taken seriously for so long.

I've been living in Seattle for about 2 and 1/2 years now.

Oh, it's hot.

I moved here to get medical care.

Each day I would just challenge myself.

Today I'm going to go five blocks.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try to push all the way back home from the bus stop.

I have so much more confidence in what it is that I can accomplish.

Sometimes I don't know how I'm still alive, you know, and I think I'm not strong enough to do this and I'm not sure enough to do that.

It is kind of interesting to still have so much anger around what happened, but still be at peace with my body and who I am.

We were just talking about those some people's kids moments.

I just got back a couple weeks ago from Germany, competing with the USA Paracanoe World Championship team.

Paracanoe is just like the umbrella of what they call sprint kayaking and sprint canoeing.

I like the feeling of just like gliding for like miles.

It's water.

It's kind of like the great equalizer.

It's kind of amazing how anger and sadness can create something so beautiful and something that you weren't expecting, you know, and that I have this whole new avenue.

It's kind of like-- the first question you asked me, what I was doing with my life, I don't know because I'm still figuring it out.

[music playing]